She said that her niece was incredibly disrespectful to her parents and never did what she was told. My Co-teacher blamed the informal style of the modern world. In school, teachers are constantly referred to as just Bolos instead of Mr. Bolos (and some teachers are referred to by only their first name. My grandpa, for years a member of The Standard Club in Chicago, left because they no longer require a suit and tie in lieu of just a sport jacket (they also now let women into many of the rooms that they weren't before). Our world is undoubtedly getting more informal.
I have a pretty informal relationship with my mother, but I'm not sure if this has had an adverse effect on me. I would like to think that I am a relatively good kid. I don't know if I am the exception or this woman's niece is the exception.
Is modern informality degrading children? Were you raised formally or informally and (as objectively as possible) how good of a kid are you?
I definitely not only think that the modern family, as well as school setting, has become far more informal than it has in the past, but it's also far more informal than it is in other countries. From experience, I know that immigrant parents tend to be very shocked and often appalled at the way children speak to adults in this country, tagging it as clear disrespect.
ReplyDeleteHowever, while I know plenty of American kids that are clearly disrespectful to their parents, I also think that there is a distinction between that and informality. I consider myself have a pretty informal relationship with my dad, and I know that I also have a much more open, healthy relationship with him than I do with my mom, who has a bit more of an immigrant mentality. It's kind of weird having both of these influences in my life, but I definitely do think that I'm a good kid. In fact, I think that it's that balance that's brought me to where I am today.
Being informal with your parents and teachers, if taken too far can definitely lead to disrespect, but I think that modern child-adult relationships need to rely primarily on honesty and openness, rather than fear of being informal.
I am not exactly sure what being raised formally means, but I am fairly certain I was raised informally. And I agree with Ruchi that informality is not, directly, linked to disrespect. For example, my worst punishments were generally for being overly disrespectful.(Note: my punishments were being sent to my room for 5 minutes and knowing the my parents were upset with me; I cried every time.) Also, I think I am well-behaved.
ReplyDeleteI think the, apparently, increasing disrespect could be caused in part by our society's great focus on youth, the power of youth, the beauty of youth, rather than onthe wisedom and maturity of age.